Monster – A. Lee Martinez

     First off, the summary on the back of this book is completely wrong. I don’t think the person who wrote it read past the first chapter or maybe, *maybe* two. The only thing he got right was the characters’ names. This book is a lot more than a girlfriend from hell pun-making buddy adventure. To begin with Judy (who works the over night shift at a 24 hour grocery store) finds a yeti eating most of the frozen food section. She calls animal control who send out Monster, one of their crypto biological specialists, to take care of the thing. This is where things get interesting; we learn there are three kinds of people in the world: those who can see and work with magic, those who genetically can’t handle the existence of magic and never perceive anything remotely out of the ordinary, and those like poor Judy, stuck in the middle. They can see and believe magic while in the presence of it or magical creatures but hours or even minutes later forget that something strange just happened except they always feel as if something is missing from their lives.

     The story follows Monster home after capturing the yetis and explains the girl friend from hell and how demons can be wandering all over the town. It also goes in-depth into Monster’s personality, an Average Joe who just wants to make enough money to pay for his TV and beer. The next day he gets another call about trolls invading some woman’s apartment. He’s surprised to find out that it’s Judy’s apartment and clearly something weird is going on because strange things keep happening around her, crypto biological creatures showing up way out of their common habitat or in groups when they’ve only ever been seen as solitary or possibly extinct. This eventually leads to a witch and the purpose of the universe. The end is a climatic battle between Evil and Not-so evil since no one could ever really call Monster a *good* guy.

     Witches, demons, and strange creatures! Oh my! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Despite its progressively serious story line, the author managed to keep a light hearted tone. Also, I’ve never read a story where magic was explained/functioned in that way, so I thought it was fairly unique and kept trying to figure out who knew about magic and who didn’t even of the extreme back ground characters who were there only for a scene or two. I can see myself coming back and reading this again several more times just to see what new information I can spot. 

Changes by Mercedes Lackey

   This book is set in the realm of Valdemar and is the third installment of the Collegium Chronicles. The main character is Mags, a former mine slave, who was Chosen to become a Herald in the first book of the series. The first book (Foundation) deals mainly with the consequences of him being chosen and making friends with various other trainees. The second book (Intrigues) has slightly more action and, you guessed it, intrigue. Diplomats coming from an unspecified country are being haunted and some of them seem to be going mad. The “hauntings” are later found out to be a couple of pranksters. As anyone who has read any of the previous Valdemar books know, mages cannot go to Valdemar because something drives them mad. This stays true in the second book when during a huge, unexpected blizzard the now completely mad mage kidnaps one of Mags’ friends and tries to use blood magic to make whatever is watching him go away. In a fit of heroics, Mags acts as decoy while his friend is rescued and the mage is killed. The book ends when the “diplomats” are discovered to have escaped in the confusion and are hiding somewhere in the city. This sounds like the perfect place to begin the next book, right? Apparently it wasn’t.

   Changes begins in the middle of a game called “Kirball.” This game is basically half-polo, half-soccer. This game was introduced in one of the short story anthologies and if you haven’t read the short story, you would start this novel completely confused. The rules are barely mentioned and the moves are half explained at best. Kirball is a fast paced game and hard to follow on the written page. This sequence at least could have been left out in favor of a better explanation of the game. After the game, the book concentrates on Mags with the King’s Own teaching him more about being a spy and going undercover. They find someone who may be linked to the diplomat/assassins in the summer after the second book. Things take a turn for the worse when the assassins appear to be after Mags and his friends and not the King like every one assumed. No one can figure out why they’re after someone who is not highly placed in the government. They spend the whole book trying to figure this out and still don’t manage it, paving the way for book number four.

   This book takes place what feels like forever after the second book or that this is actually the fourth book in the series and I missed the one in between. The characters refer to events that happen between the second and third books that make it seem as if a year or more has passed but then refer to events in the first book as “last spring.” The ages of the characters are also murky for me because of this whole time line confusion. Also Mags has been trying to discover the identity of his parents since he was an orphan. Early in the book, he says he has proof his parents weren’t bandits, then later wishes he had proof that his parents weren’t bandits. It’s like Mercedes Lackey had completely forgotten what she wrote earlier. There were even typos! Typos! Not just one either but the closer to the end, the more often they popped up. Where was the editor?! This is the kind of thing that drives certain people crazy because they have to listen to me yell at my books. I will probably never read this book again and I sure won’t buy any of her new books without checking them out from the library first and coming from me, that is a sad statement.

Going Postal – Terry Pratchett

     Going Postal starts with the hanging of a man who technically doesn’t exist. Moist Von Lipwig is a con artist that hasn’t used his real name since he left home. With a name like Moist, I wouldn’t use it either. He was caught defrauding people and sentenced to hang. Lord Vetinari the ruler of Ankh-Morpork decided his skills would be useful and pretended hang Moist in order to offer him a job. The offer was revamp the post office and make it profitable or go back to the gibbet and hang. Of course being an enterprising con man, Moist took the deal. On being released, he promptly bought a horse and left town. He was overtaken at an inn the next night by his parole golem. Golems don’t eat, don’t sleep, don’t breathe, and don’t stop. Giving into the inevitable, Moist joins forces with the motley crew of postal employees and the Golem Trust to transform the Post Office from a haunted, run down building that is stuffed full of old letters into a profitable business and possibly save his own life.

     Going Postal is my favorite book by Terry Pratchett. It isn’t quite as serious as the books about the Night Watch and is far more understandable than the Rincewind books. I enjoy Terry Pratchett’s type of humor. Watching the transformation of Moist from a con man who thinks of no one but himself into a person who legally parts people from their money is eye opening. Even if he does not really become a better person, by the end of the story, he does learn to care about a few people other than himself. I would definitely recommend this book to people who haven’t read any Discworld books. It starts with a new character and introduces a few of the other major background characters. 

Moll Flanders – Daniel Defoe

     Moll Flanders is the life story of a girl who managed to do everything wrong. Born to a convict, Baby Moll is given to a woman who raises and teaches orphans a useful trade. As she grows up her cleverness and determination to make something of her life endears her to the local nobility. In her teens, they hire her to be a companion to their daughters. The elder son wants her as a mistress and gives her money for her “favors.” According to Moll this is what first set her upon the path to misfortune. She eventually marries the younger brother against the family’s wishes and has a couple of kids. When her husband passes away of illness, the family adopts the kids and disowns Moll. This is where the tale starts to get interesting. 

     She begins her search to find another husband. No matter what happens she can’t manage to keep a husband. She manages to marry a shady merchant, her half brother (by accident), a conman/bandit, becomes mistress to a married man, and marries a banker. When her last husband dies, she thinks she is too old and poor to be interesting to men. She goes to a woman who has helped her in the past and becomes a fairly skilled thief. Eventually, she is caught and sent to the same prison she was born in. In a twist of fate, her third husband, the conman, is being held there also. They “sincerely repent” their crimes (i.e. kiss the warden’s butt) and instead of being hung, they are sent to the Colonies as indentured servants. Fortunately, they have enough money saved to buy their freedom. At this point, they pretty much reach happily ever after and do nothing wrong ever again.

     I liked this book but I want to know a few things. How many kids did she have? I tried to count but I couldn’t keep track of them all and their fates. A couple of them were mentioned in passing but the only one that manages to be mentioned as an adult is the son by her brother but there isn’t anything about his sister. The friend who helps her was a midwife. Why didn’t she learn how to do that instead of being a thief or get a job as a seamstress which the author makes a point of telling the readers is one of her talents. Aside from these questions, it was a good book. If you like old fiction (1700’s old), this story has definitely stood the test of time.

Sister to the Rain – Melisa Michaels

     This book was bought for me years and years ago by a friend (who probably doesn’t even remember doing it any more) when I was having a bout of insomnia.

     This book starts with a pair of elves walking into a detective agency. Sounds like the start of a really bad joke, doesn’t it? The elves in question have come to Rose Lavine and her partner, Shannon on behalf of (what amounts to) their homeowner’s association. The residents of Fey Valley are hearing strange noises, seeing strange shadows lurking about the property, and small items are going missing from the lawns of the residents. They want Rose to find out who is to blame and put a stop to it if possible. At first glance, the case seems fairly straight forward. When one of Rose’s ex-boyfriends and his extremely jealous sister turn up, Rose’s personal life takes a turn for the awful. When Rose and Shannon can’t find the culprit among the usual suspects, they find a few of the residents are keeping secrets. The Fey Valley Trouble turns from prankster to killer when a teenage boy is murdered. With nothing but dead ends and the past coming back to haunt them, can Rose and Shannon find out what is going on or will they have to call it quits?

     Apparently, this is the second book in the series but I’ve never read the first one. I have been looking for it off and on for years, as well as any others by this author. Her characters are intelligently written. Even though she talks about serious subjects, there’s always a bit of humor or sarcasm to lighten the mood not long after. Melisa Michaels also has a take on elves that I have not seen very often. She writes them as a little sociopathic. They don’t quite understand human emotions or how they work which comes into play quite a bit in the story (and the first book from what I understand). Anyone who is looking for a different view on fantasy novels should give this one a try.

“I am sister to the rain

Fey and sudden and unholy”

--Dorothy Parker